Just getting started!

This is an experiment in spilling, most likely to include dumping, venting, processing, and maybe even planning.

I just need to reflect.

Is this just an introvert thing? I think not. And I think about it quite a bit, being an overthinker. 🙂 I hardly know how to organize this (is it a personal blog?), but I’m finally jumping in, for better or worse. This goes against my grain – starting without a well-laid plan. Yet, here I go.

Brain dump.

I need to dump periodically – and usually I have a pen in hand, along with my notebook of choice – a simple lined journal, thin pages, no perforations. Can’t be having my thoughts falling out of the book inadvertently. Not going to get into the PEN at this point, but it’s generally a thick ballpoint. Blue. OK, sometimes black, but always smooth.

But what am I dumping? Oh, maybe everything. Morning pages can be teeming with declarations of what busy-ness lies ahead that day, or maybe vague ramblings listing the things I’d SO like to accomplish over the upcoming weekend. Gotta say, this ritual usually includes grabbing a nearby notepad in order to start yet another list. But THIS is how I maintain a grasp on goals and how I’ll achieve them.

Also, redirecting and prayer…

Yep, redirecting myself. Always reflecting on my cringy moments such as yesterday’s frantic overwhelms or hurried interactions. If I’m feeling ick, I could’ve done better. But how? Sometimes that’s exactly my prayer (because I can’t face my days thinking I can do this all by myself). Sometimes my prayer is merely “help!” And quiet, DEEP breathing. Other days, I’m wordy and I drain my brain of whatever is there. If I’m feeling negative, it doesn’t take long for me to recognize that, which adds a bit to my jumbled prayers. Because prayers aren’t neat and organized, are they?? Well, mine aren’t.

Adding color is a good thing!

Highlighters! I generally use these when I’m flipping back through the pages – but now and then I KNOW right when the words hit the paper that I’ll want to remember certain lyrics/prayers/realizations, and COLOR will work it’s magic. More another day. Just happy to be here.